ABRIELLE - A BIRTH STORY

The magic of a fearless birth can be beautiful and unbelievable. When I conceived my second baby, many things in my life were falling apart. For privacy reasons, I will not give too much detail, but I was determined to keep my depression from hindering my birth. 

On the day she was born, everything was ready for the arrival of my second baby. Darrell was at work near Canada and my mom, my daughter (Leila, almost two) and I were on our way to my 39th week appointment at 10:30am. Being almost half an hour late, I grumpily waddled into the exam room and tried to ignore the noises of my mom and baby. The red raspberry leaf tea I drank everyday was working, making my small Braxton Hicks contractions stronger and more uncomfortable. 

“How are you feeling?”  The nurse looked straight into my eyes as she asked the question. I wondered if she could see how grumpy, tired, and worried I was.

“I’m exhausted, and stressed, but the baby feels fine,” I said, “How often do you see postpartum depression? I think I had a hard time with it after my first baby, but I never did anything about it. I can’t deal the issues my husband and I are having, and a new baby, and possibly PPD.”

QUOTE OF THE DAY - APRIL

A DAY IN MY LIFE - APRIL

I got angry.

Standing in line at the grocery store with all three of my children, I was surprisingly calm for having such noisy passengers. Leila's voice was the loudest - we had just passed a storm trooper and she was proudly singing Star Wars. People standing around us were smiling at her and giggling, all except one: a tall elderly man paying for his items. I was next in line. The cashier told me how adorable Leila was. I felt it was necessary to mention that Leila was too scared to watch Star Wars, but with me being such a fanatic, she learned the music.

"I can't stand that sci-fi shit." The man (I'll name him Adolf, you will see why) stared at me disgustedly.

If he had not been so emphatically irritated, I would not have asked, "Really? Why?"

DAX - A BIRTH STORY

It’s called “hypnobirth”. No, it’s not a cult, or a fad. I won’t get into the details, but if done correctly, it can change a woman’s (and her family’s) birth experience drastically. After reading phrases like “mindfulness,” “painless birth,” and “I can’t believe it went so smoothly” in the reviews, of course I was going to try it. I'm always up for a new adventure.
My midwife was all for it - in fact, she lit up when I brought it into conversation. Her excitement gave me even more confidence that hypnobirthing was the right choice. Sylyna is one of the top midwives in this area. Everyone who knows her absolutely loves her and recommends her with celebrity status admiration, and she wanted to do a hypnobirth with me.
It was my third baby. First time using the hypnobirthing method, first time with a midwife, and the first time I was pregnant and alone. There were many unbelievable circumstances that changed my life, but having this baby alone was all my own choice. As you can imagine, my emotions were usually floating between functional and depressed for most of the pregnancy. Hypnobirthing gave me something to be excited about (other than holding my baby, of course). I did my kegel exercises, practiced breathing techniques, read every book, watched tons of births and classes online, meditated (well I tried, I listened to a hypnobirth audio and passed out five minutes into it) and imagined what this birth story would look like.
On a Monday afternoon, my midwife told me I was already 4 centimeters dilated at 37 weeks. I had been in an uncomfortable blur for a few days, so hearing that was a relief, not a surprise. “At this point,” Sylyna said, “you have two options: You can wait and see what happens, or you can do a tiny bit of encouraging.”

FREE MINIMALIST 2016 CALENDAR WITH TASK LIST

A DAY IN MY LIFE - JANUARY

What is interesting enough to blog about?

I was finally arranging my lesson plan for dance class that evening. I should focus, not more blogging today. Even though it was two in the afternoon and I still wasn’t dressed, I felt pretty accomplished. One load of laundry, one load of dishes, a shower (what?!), read out-loud to my children, and kicked two of them outside to play on our brand-new-to-us swing-set. I could see them and heard gut-laughs as they sang out, “Hi, Dax!!” to their baby brother (my #3), who was inside with me, smashing his face onto the glass door.

Then, SCREAMING.

HANNAH'S TOP 12 PHOTOS OF 2015

A part of personal growth, something we all attempt in the New Year, is taking a glance back at your past. My little family and I have experienced a few changes since New Year 2015:

January 2015 - After our long and complicated trip to visit my daughters' father and his family for

WELCOME

“You’re a single mother with three children, four years old and younger," my friend said to me the other day, “How are you handling it so well?”

We both laughed at the time, knowing that I don’t really have a choice - if I don’t do it, nobody else will. I thought about it again later and realized, “OMG, I made it.” There was a lot of anxiety, many fights, many sleepless nights, and many tears, but I still made it.

Now that I’m a single mother and parenting alone, I have a few life-hacks, parenting-hacks, and thanks to an identity crisis, some personal-hacks to survive happily. Be aware that not everything works for everyone. These are the things that worked for me, along with other things I love.

My hope is that you have a good laugh, learn a little something, and enjoy yourself. Welcome to my journey to being self-aware, independent, and proud of who I am.